Family and disappointment (and apparently Dr Phil) !

Family is a very funny thing. Having my sister and her family stay at my place last night on their way home had a really nice feel to it. Its felt familiar, safe, and although I have lived in my flat for about a year now successfuly on my own, I always think I need to live with someone else instead of my current solitary existence. It also was partially responsible for one of the biggest disappointments I have had in ages, as the big M (as I like to call him) has postponed his trip to London by a few weeks. The combination of big sis visiting me, his best friend's hard labour and his London friend being upset that he is visiting while he's away have made him change his flight. I was really looking forward to seeing him this weekend, and a part of me thinks that something isn't quiet right (maybe he thinks its moving too fast, whatever). Also, I tend to get paranoid on think too much about such things, so lets not dwell. I am thinking of going to see him during Easter weekend, my mum will be in town at the time, but she's here for 3 weeks, I don't think a weekend away will do much harm. I still feel like I'm living two lives, the one where I am happy and comfortable and surrounded by family, and the one where I completely shut them out but live life the way I want it to live it, in complicated way where I can reach extreme highs and very low lows. So I'm a tad neurotic, tell me something I didn't know. The scary thing is I feel at home in both worlds, but I can't get them together. Gosh, I sound like a really bad self-help book turned upside down .. paging Dr. Phil ! Thats it for now.