Unfair (A Stream of Consciousness)

Is it unfair that I want my own space sometimes
Is it unfair that I never want to be disappointed by others
Am I unwise for drinking too much alcohol during the week
Am I unwise for not wanting the night to end and the day to begin

I live to move, yet my body seems to want to stop
Am I enjoying myself, or really just punishing myself
Why have I closed myself off from some close friends
Yet I can open up to total strangers with ease

I am afraid at times, and happy at others
I am either always too ecstatic or too sad
I reach the highs easily, and I dwell on the lows
Yet through it all I am never content

I look for love, but I resist it when its offered
I look for sex but don't want to appear too sexual
I judge others who are, but secretly I envy them
Though I don't hate being alone, I don't love it either