Friday, July 16, 2004


I've been wondering lately about the meaning of the word family. As a gay man, I am finding that the ties that bind me to my ancestral family are loosining up with each passing day. Its not that I don't care for or love my immediate family, but its strange that I no longer share much of the same values as they do. Things that they judge as morally wrong or corrupt (ie. homosexual sex, drinking) I have no problem with, mainly because I choose to do them as a responsible adult (well, most of the time I do anyway). I also find that my goals in life are completely different than theirs, and I have always wondered why that is. I do not want to own a big house and have children and save all my money for a rainy day. I don't think the fact that I'm gay stops me from wanting those things, its just that I want to enjoy my life in the here and now, because you never know what might happen in the future. I guess the point I am trying to make here is that I think this is the reason why I've been drawn to the club scene lately. Its my replacement family, people who share the same values as me, and who give me that unconditional understanding and empathy that can only come from being chemically enhanced all weekend long (mind you, there are some select friends who I love and care for just as much, if not more, than my own family). Its part of the reason why we are all attracted to it. I think I needed to integrate myself fullly in the past 3 months or so, because it can't be a half-assed commitment to the scene. You have to be out there, be seen and heard and if you don't carry any pretense or are too much up your own arse, then those London Gay Clubbing Masses will accept you as one of their own, and I have to admit that that feeling is euphoric. For someone who never belonged (even when out on the gay scene, among your own 'people') it has been eye-opening. To be myself, unconditionally myself, and not feel judged (or even care) is quiet something. In way, its like being with your family, except in my case, I can now no longer be completely myself with my own parents or siblings, because I have gotten to a different place morally and mentally that I am afraid they will never want to get to. And so family now means something completely different than what it did even 6 months ago. Anyway, here is how the dictionay defines family. Think about it.

  1. a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.

b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

2. All the members of a household under one roof.

3. A group of persons sharing common ancestry.

4. Lineage, especially distinguished lineage.

5. A locally independent organized crime unit, as of the Cosa Nostra.


a. A group of like things; a class.

b. A group of individuals derived from a common stock: the family of human beings.


Post a Comment

<< Home