Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The T Chapter

Ok I admit it, I've been a tad bit obsessed lately. With a particular guy whose first name starts with a T.

So T and I have never had a really proper conversation. We spent about 3 months staring at each other at various bars and clubs. I finally got the courage to actually speak to him a few weeks back at Comptons. At the time he actually seemed interested. We chatted for a bit, snogged for a bit, he asked for my number, and I felt like I was on cloude nine. So far so good. I texted him the next day (was I too eager) and he texted me back and agreed to meet up for a drink the following week. I even ran into him the same week at a pub and played it cool, and through a conversation with a common friend found out that indeed he was interested.

So I called him and left a message. No Reply. I was disappointed. I tried to forget about him, I met a couple of other people, had a meaningless one-night stand, the short T. chapter was closed. I moved on. I even practiced my little non-chalant way of pointing out to him that it was rude for him not to call back the next time I did run into him. A little devilish smile, and shrug of shoulders would do nicely.

And then this last Sunday night I saw him at Horsemeat Disco. There he was, looking adorable still in a rugby shirt and jeans. Sitting at the bar. Kissing some other stranger. And I, well I was jealous. Of who I am not sure. I mean, I've hardly spoken to the guy, he owed me nothing. But I was jealous. And I couldn't even to bring myself to say more than 'hello' as we inevitably bumped into each other at different points in the night (he did ditch the snogging stranger later in the evening). And I wanted to ask him out. AGAIN. I was completely curious as to why he lost interest, or why I didn't care about the 2 or 3 reasonably cute guys in there who gave me the eye. Why did I still want him ? Is it because he is playing hard-to-get. I usually dismiss guys like that. Is it because I see something in him that I don't see in others, and if so what. I was frustrated with my own lack of rational judgement. And so I went home and texted him on the way to the train. No response. Which makes me want him even more on some level. Strange but true.


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