Monday, May 23, 2005

Just What Exactly Is Wrong With You .... ?

That is usually the way I interpret the comment 'so howcome you don't have a boyfriend then ?', which I heard twice from two different people on Friday night. I know its meant to be a compliment, but my over-analytical brain tries to struggle for an answer. My usual response is 'I just haven't found someone that has sparked my interest' or the more conceited 'I'm just a picky guy', but in real honesty I don't know the answer. I was surprised when a friend told me yesterday that he wished he had the same confidence that I show when in a social situation since I've always seen it as the other way around. I guess I am confident enough in my personality to speak to people in social situations, and maybe people mistake that for sexual confidence, which I don't really have. I guess the real answer is that at the moment, with the way my life is set up I don't think I have the mental energy or drive to commit to a relationship. And thats probably not an answer people would want to hear.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Don't Phunk With My Heart

I've been seriously thinking of joining the gym again. It was revealed to me last night that a good friend is joining one soon and most of my friends go. I could go on about how my health should come first and that I need to work out in order to be healthy and fit, and I'm really just doing it for myself. But I won't, cause thats absolute bullshit. I am joining the gym for one reason and one reason only : SEX. Yes its shallow, but its true, and really thats my motivation. I wanna get more of it damn it, and I think the only way to do that is by getting fit. I think I've got all the other boxes ticked when it comes to my social life, but this is the one thing I always feel a bit inadequate about. I won't like it, but its gotta be done.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Been a long time since I've done a music related post, so here goes. My guide for the top 5 essential new tunes this summer (and no Axel F and that Crazy Frog didnt' make the cut) ...

1. Mariah Carey - We Belong Together

Ok, so this doesn't exactly scream 'summer party track' at you. But imagine being on the beach (ok or in your bedroom with the window open) and a hot summer breaze is blowing through. You are with your loved one and this track is playing. Pop open the champagne, dance with your partner close and have that magic moment with Mariah's emotional vocal playing in the background. My early favorite for song of the year.

2. Herd & Fitz - Just Can't Get Enough

Already starting to make ripples on dancefloors everywhere, this has such a beautiful bassline, pristine production and a gorgeous vocal that you won't help but feel good listening to it. Now that you've had that magic moment in the bedroom, this is the song you must dance to with your partner in the club.

3. Deep Dish - Say Hello

Staying with the funky chilled house tracks, Deep Dish's latest has a hypnotic feel to it that you just can't shake off. A fantastic piano riff in the middle and a dreamy vocal make it a superb summer track to listen to on that 4 am drive to the after-hours.

4. Ciara feat Ludacris - Oh

After great success with crunk hits (an over-hyped genre if you ask me) Goodies and 1,2 Step, Ciara comes up with this sexy track full of suggestive cooing and a dirty beat to match. Even Luda's somewhat lazy rap can't diminish how great this track is, so be ready to grab someone for a bump and grind.

5. Blackrock - Bluewater (Vocal Version)

This is just a straight up fun party track that will get those musclemarys and their admirers to raise their hands at every club this summer. A simple arrangement that just builds up slowly throughout is this tracks great strength.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

The Scenic Route

Ok, so I had to go into Ottawa yesterday to get my workpermit stamped. The trip came on a bit suddenly (an appointment freed up for Weds. morning) so my Dad and I decided to drive up and stay the night. Wow, what a fantastic drive, I recommend to anyone visiting Canada to drive through Highway 401 east towards the capital. I think being in a very cramped city like London for a while I have gotten to appreciate vast open spaces more and more, and the vast spaces on the route were incredibly pretty to say the least. Lots of trees surrounded us, a few farms here and there.

Ottawa itself is a very nice looking city, and beautiful in the summertime when its not frozen over. I have been there many times when I was in high school and university, and always liked the place. Its got a cosmopolitan feel to it, although its population and size is relatively small. The Parliament buildings, the grand Laurier Hotel, The National Gallery (which all overlook the Rideau River) are great looking, and the market area is full of life. I found even the people seemed much more relaxed and a bit European in their behaviour. Probably due to a combination of it being close to the french Quebec border, the vast amount of diplomats and their families living there and two universities located in the city, not to mention plenty of lawyers and politicians. If I were to ever live anywhere in Canada, I think Ottawa may just be the place. I kinda fell in love with the city a bit this time around, and I was only there for a day.

As a sidenote, the travel with my Dad was surprisingly pleasent, we had a good time, we spoke about a lot of things (I even admitted to having smoked cigarettes during my university time). The only downside is that I unwittingly booked the hotel close to Bank Street, just around the corner from a couple of gay bars. It was really weird, I walked out on the street and my sixth sense told me I was in a gay area, only to see a rainbow flag flapping in the distance. Nice. Thats still an aspect of the city that I shall explore at another time.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Well, Isn't He Just Fant-a-bulous

One little interesting thing I've observed from looking at bear411 (or is that eurowoof) profiles here in Toronto, the guys just LOVE to announce how wonderful and great their partner is. A random sampling of profiles gives you the following results:

'seeing a very special, wonderful bear'

'check out my hot hot hot partner *insert partner name here* '

'married to the most wonderful man, he's great'

Now compare and contrat to some uk profiles :

'happily partnered'

'coupled, just looking for mates'

.... you get the idea. Herein' lies a difference I think in the two cultures. The first being slightly insecure and always 'bigging up' what they got (isn't my boyfriend just the most greatest person on earth') , the latter being a lot more relaxed and secure in what they got (yes I have a boyfriend, with all the entails, I don't go into much detail about it). I am not saying the insecurities are limited to one place and not the other, but it seems more prevailent in one place ... maybe its just my own prejudices coming in the way. Maybe I need more than 5 hours sleep to type stuff like this into my blog. Not sure. Just thought it interesting.

Monday, May 02, 2005

An update!

So I have been back in Toronto for about 5 days now. Jet-lag is almost gone, my liver is hurting from all the beer I've drank and my whole system is numb with the thought that I may have to move back here for good. I love Toronto, its my home, but I just don't feel like I can belong here at all. I always thought that maybe it was staying at my parents that made me a bit apprehensive when going out, but now I realise its the city itself. Everyone here is so conscious about the way they're supposed to behave and how they should look, that I just want to shake everyone I meet and tell them to just RELAX. Its ok to act like yourself, but I guess its hard when everyone is looking at you with judgemental eyes. I had dinner with a girlfriend of mine last night and she agreed that people here are a lot less open than many other big cities she's been to. On the plus side its been really good to catch up with my good friends, who I realize I've stayed friends with because they are open and accepting individuals, and thats why I love them so much.