Wednesday, December 28, 2005

How Do You Know

How do you know when you've met the right person for you. Is it a look, something in their eye that tells you that they, you know, 'get you'. Is it an instant familiarity, like you've come across someone that you could have known all your life. Maybe its a common sense of humour, or a shared social class. Or is it just random, you meet, you have good sex, you have a few things in common and both of you are just ready for a relationship at the time, and before you know it you end up buying matching his and his towels on your first anniversary because neither of you wants to be alone.

I don't know, but I find it really difficult to judge how people hook up and make it last longer than a couple of weeks, maybe because I haven't been able to make it last with anyone past the second date in I don't know how long. There is always an excuse, he doesn't get my jokes, or he's not serious enough. He makes more money than me or he cannot keep up with my lifestyle. He's too tall or too short. He drinks too much or he doesn't like to go out enough. He acts too camp, or acts too macho. I can go on, but I am starting to think that maybe I'm the one who is putting excuses in front of me and not going for it. Maybe I am the problem, looking for things to pre-empt anything that can become serious. Or maybe I just haven't met the right person yet. Who knows.

Thursday, December 22, 2005


Man, I am not enjoying this Xmas season at all so far. Work is very busy, too busy, and well, I don't know its really getting to me. Sometimes I like my job, and others I just want to up and leave, disappear for a week and switch my mobile phone off and not tell anyone where I am. Go on a drinking bender, take the train to Paris or somewhere and just be by myself without any distraction. Then I remember I have 'responsibilities'. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I feel like I should say something about gay civil unions coming into effect here in the UK yesterday. Its a great thing, and I am happy for all those couples who can now enjoy the same rights as straight couples do. It is significant and historic. Look at all those cute couples in the paper with matching tuxedos looking ever so dapper. Why is it that with all these couples, one of them has a shaved head and really cool looking designer glasses (maybe a trimmed beard), and the other one is blonde, hair a bit longer, maybe spiked a bit. They all look the same. The bitter / cynical part of me wants to take these couples, corner them somewhere and shout at them: I DONT HAVE YOUR LEGITIMACY BECAUSE I DONT HAVE THE LIBERAL WHITE MIDDLE CLASS UPBRINGING THAT YOU DID AND MY PARENTS WILL NEVER LOOK AT ELTON JOHN AND THINK 'OH WELL, IF ITS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ELTON JOHN, THEN OUR LITTLE BOY BEING QUEER IS FINE BY US.' I am just jealous I know because I don't think I will ever get to have my civil ceremony and have it accepted by any of my family. Ok, I will stop moaning now, life is good. All is good.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Things That Make You Go Hmmm ....

I was having a conversation with a friend and he pointed out that I am a 'List' person, which I am. That is why I love this time of year, its a good excuse to make lists, as evidence by my recent Top Songs of 2005 entry. I love making lists so much that I can probably do a list of Reasons Why I Love Lists, but that might be a bit OTT. Anyway, here are the top 5 things that baffled me in 2005:

5. Sienna Miller

I am likely the type of person who should adore Sienna. She's really pretty and she has that 'IT' girl factor about her. The problem is that she is way more famous than she should be, she has only been in two films of note (Layer Cake and Alfie) and neither of them were major Box Office hits. Not sure why women want to emulate her style either, as she looks really frumpy all the time. This woman is famous more than anything because of her relationship to Jude Law, and the fact that he cheated on her has elevated her rather too quickly into the 'jilted lover' role that Nicole Kidman used to great effect a few years ago. I am officially BORED.

4. Desperate Housewives

Ok, I agree that its a reasonably good tv show, and there are some funny lines in it and it does have the Sex And The City of empowered women element to it. Watch the repeats however and you'll realise that this show is mainly fluff and not that greatly acted. And God help us, not only has it revived Nicolette Sheridan's career but it also inflicted us with Eva Langoria and countless interviews about her sex life. This must stop.

3. George W. Bush

From his nomination of Harriet Mier, to his mishandling of the Iraq War and its political fallout to his adminstrations clearly 'vague' rules about torture, I am amazed with Bush's ability to just push through his right wing agenda with no regard for the consequences. I cannot beleive we still have a few more years left with this guy in charge of the most powerful country in the world.

2. Crazy Frog

The Crazy Frog had one of the biggest selling singles of 2005, who bought this shit ?

1. Kate Moss

Ok, I can sort of understand how the papers love using the term 'Cocaine Kate' and now they are all happy that they will be able to do so from now until the end of eternity. And I can sort of get how her relationship to Pete Doherty can cause a bit of interest. What amazes is me is the hypocrisy of the whole situation, I am a 30 year old man (around the same age as Kate) living in London with a fairly reasonable income coming in. I can guarantee that even without knowing them that the people who condemned Kate are people who have taken charlie at least once in their life. Its everywhere in London and taking coke is as readily acceptable as downing a shot of sambuca on a Friday night at the pub. Its truly baffling how big this story became, and I am glad that it has died out.

Panic Flightroom ?!

I went to a matinee of the Jodie Foster film Flightplan yesterday, a thriller about a mother who 'loses' her daughter mid-flight. You know, this film could have been very thrilling and enjoyable, had it not been for the fact that I knew pretty much every single plot twist in the film's first 90 minutes thanks to the films adverts. I don't understand why film studios feel the need to give away the entire story during the trailer, how much more business would they have got had they just ended the trailer with Jodie not finding her daughter on the plane and letting us use our imagination as to what is going to happen in the film. Still the film did have some strong performances, although I would advise Jodie Foster to now stop doing thrillers where she plays a strong single mother protecting her daughter from harm, she it too good an actress to get typecast like this. Peter Sarsgaard was also great in this film and he was also wonderful in Jarhead which I also saw this week. I am loving Peter Sarsgaard.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Best Song 2005 - The Top 5

Here comes the top 5:

5. Chanel - My Life (Haji & Emmanuel Mix)

Probably the best song to be remixed by the Haji / Emmanuel team in 2005. An uplifting and infectious house track, this was a great one to dance to at the club.

4. Freemasons - Love On My Mind

Likely the biggest disco-influenced house song of the year, this samples from Jackie Moore's 'This Time Baby' and Tina Turner's 'When The Heartache Is Over'. Dancefloors went bezerk for this all summer long, and so did I.

3. Mariah Carey - We Belong Together

Mariah back on form, even if this song is a tad generic, its sung with such wonderful emotion that Ms. Carey makes it truly special.

2. Missy Elliott feat. Ciara and Fatman Scoop - Lose Control

Missy Elliott never really went away in the past few years, but even her most die-hard fans must admit that her form has slipped of late. Thankfully she came back with this monster of a track enlisting the help of hot R&B siren of the day Ciara and (God help us) Fatman Scoop. The Jaques Lu Cont mix and the mash up with M.A.N.D.Y's 'Body' are a great fusions of house music with rap.

1. Madonna - Hung Up

There was never any doubt that this would land in the number 1 spot, and by a huge margin. Gone is the self-indulgent reflection of Madge's last album American Life, replaced by a truly fierce disco sound provided by the one and only Stuart Price. Best heard in the middle of the dance floor on a Saturday night at 1 am surrounded by hundreds of queens raising their hands in the air at the first hint of the ABBA riff. This is Madonna's best single in a very long time.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Best Songs of 2005 - Part III

6 to 10 , here they come :

10. Girls Aloud - Biology

This song kicks off with a bluesy piano riff and then switches gear twice, and as one critic pointed, it does sound like 3 songs blended into one. A track that I hated at first due to its strange structure but now can't get enough of. Also features the campest line of the year: 'So I got my cappucino to go, and I'm heading for the hills again.' How can you NOT love Cheryl Tweedy.

9. The Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha

You really couldn't ecape this single at all this summer, and it got a tad boring after so many plays. This is how great girl-band R&B should sound like, even if its only one girl in the group that can actually sing.

8. Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl

This Sh** is Bananas - B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Need I say more ?

7. Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes

Ok, so I loved this Kelly Clarkson this year, she could do no wrong, and here she continues her pissed off streak with guys who have hurt her, but don't worry because she doesn't cry on the outside anymore! Maybe she needs to lighten up a bit on her next album, but I am not complaining.

6. James Blunt - You're Beautiful

Another song that suffered from over-play this summer, but I can't help but still loving this song about falling in love with a stranger on a train. I think the beauty of this song is that its really personal but everyone can relate to it.

Best Songs of 2005 - Part II

Here comes entries 11 to 15 :

15. Mariah Carey - Its Like That

The first of two entries for Ms Carey, this was her big comeback single from the massive Emancipation of Mimi album. Mariah at her vocal best, with excellent prodcution value from Jermaine Dupris, this could have been a strong song of the year contender for me. However, the presence of the shrill Fatman Scoop at the end of the track costs this song dearly. Fatman is a great producer no doubt, but can he please shut up!

14. Lee Ryan- Army of Lovers

First Kelly Osbourne, and now an ex-Blue member, but I can't help loving this song. Its two and half minutes of pure ballad genius with a soaring vocal from Lee. Fantastic.

13. Fallen Angels - City Life (Ian Carey Remix)

Ian Carey provides a great electro-rock beat to this dance track, all about how great big city life is, no matter where you are from. A very under-appreciated track.

12. Max Linen - Back To Mine

Linen was reponsible for last years infectious 'Flashback', and he uses a similar male voice-over on this follow-up, to tell a story about meeting a wild girl at a club and taking her back to her place. The story has a very funny twist in the end, and a sublime bassline to boot.

11. Destiny's Child - Soldier

The DC girls go crunk, and they are looking for some tough thugs, and it works for the most part. The rapping on this track is a bit dull, but is made up for by a seductive minimalist beat and an assured vocal performance from Beyonce and Co. One of the few highlights on the disappointing Destiny Fullfilled album.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Best Songs of 2005 - Part I

Last year I did a post on the top 10 singles of 2004, and in it I mentioned how 2004 was the year I truly discovered and fell in love with house music. Well, 2005 was not a great year for dance music, a decent one, but not great. The year was mainly saved by a late fall entry that would land its place as my single of the year, and what a single, but more on that later. I've expanded my list to 20 this year. Here comes numbers 16 to 20 :

20. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

This was arguably the breakthrough year for Ms Clarkson, especially here in the UK. TheAmerican Idol label was quickly forgotten with this track, a song that sounds like it could have been by recorded by Heart in the 80s, if Heart was fronted by Pink that is. A great empowering track to rock out to, especially after a messy break-up.

19. Kelly Osbourne - One Word (Chris Cox Remix)

Not in a million years did I expect to place Ms. Osbourne on this list, but she managed to come up with a greatl electro track to dance to. Ok, so I have no idea what the hell she's on about in the song but it doesn't matter. Although a great song in its own right, its the Chris Cox remix that elevates this single to one of the best of the year.

18. Faith Evans - Mesmerized (Freemasons Remix)

The Freemasons take over from the Shapeshifters as the hot dance producers of the year, and their genius is evident on this re-working of this very funky minimalist Faith Evans track, turning it into a dance floor stomper.

17. Shapeshifters - Back to Basics

Speaking of Shapeshifters, the act that had last years best single in the shape of Lola's Theme, come back with that oh so difficult follow-up single. They partly succeeded with this track, with a full orchestra backing, the same lead singer and a similar structure, Back to Basics suffered from sounding too much like its predecessor, but without as good a chorus. Still, without the Lola comparison, this song stands on its own as a very good dance song. Best remix is the Beginnerz mix, which takes the fairly fluffy sounding song and gives it a chunky bassline and a much tougher sound. The Shapeshifters didn't quiet manage to strike lightning twice in a row, but they deserve an A for effort.

16. Juliet - Avalon

The other big producer of the year has to be Jaques Lu Cont (aka Stuart Price) who produced this gem of a single. Juliet has a beautiful voice thats a cross between Dido and Sheryl Crow(honestly). She has given us an electro-influenced, haunting and beautifully melodic track that will stay in your head for hours on end.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Little Things That Bring Me Joy

Its amazing how sometimes the smallest thing will bring joy to my face. Case in point, today I had to go to my doctors office to get my flu jab. I didn't realise that in the UK you have to be over 65 or have some other medical condition to get it on the NHS, so I actually didn't get the jab and now I have to find a private clinic to administer it. And being that I am lazy, I doubt that that will happen. If I get the flu this winter then I will have to consign myself to the fact that I 'tried' to get the jab and the stupid doctor wouldn't let me.

So I leave my doctors, and because I have to go to the high street to do some banking I take an unusual route that I've never taken before. And lo and behold, I find a Starbucks tucked into the corner of the street, an EMPTY Starbucks. I usually have to fight my way through the busy Starbucks thats located by the train station, and its always a stressful experience when all I want is my Tall Non-Fat Latte, No Foam, thank you very much. On Sunday there was a woman, who used her baby's pram to take over the entire 'milk/sugar' area and would not move it although there was 3 disgruntled people waiting behind her. Needless to say, the latte wasn't worth the stress. So now, not only is this Starbucks emptier, its even closer to where I live, and although I am in principal against this big corporate entity taking over every neighbourhood in London, I am glad that I have one in my neighbourhood.

Back to Livejournal

I am trying out going back to Livejournal for a while, I am going to update the same posts on both blogs. I like the community idea on livejournal that I am not getting with blogger at the moment. Its an experiment, we shall see how it goes.

My Life Rating

This Is My Life, Rated
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

You know I am bored when I start doing stuff like this online. My Love rating is alarmingly low.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Gloves Are Off

I forgot to mention this conversation with Arch nemesis on Sunday night, this is how he greets me when I am dragged up:

'Oh my God, hey, look you are wearing a skirt'


'I like the boots, and the skirt is nice'


'But don't you think the eye make up is a bit much for you.'

At this point I smile and pretend not to hear the last comment. He's just jealous.

Monday, December 05, 2005

You Better Work ....

Ok, so like I mentioned in yesterdays post I went to the Vogue Ball last night at Horsemeat Disco, a truly fantastic night. I was moaning to my friend Lee that I was too busy during the week to come up with a good outfit for the occasion, so bless him he whipped me up a plaid skirt (sort of like a kilt) to wear. I wore it with a black tank top, black boots, a necktie and a leather arm-band. I also got my friend Nick to apply a bit of eyeliner for me. I must admit, I was working it, it was so much fun having make-up on (first time for me, but I am sure not the last) and skirts are so freeing, I don't know why men have to wear constrictive trousers.

The night itself was appropriately chaotic, they had a stage in the middle of the dancefloor and a 'dressing area' in the garden out back. There was qeues to get in and for the coat-check, it was mad but everyone was having such a good time that it didn't seem to matter. DJ Luke Howard emceed, dressed in something right out of Sunset Boulevard, and every time a contestant came up to strut their stuff the crowd would cheer them on or turn on them, for no other reason than they didn't work it properly. It was like something out of Paris Is Burning , which was the intention. A definite 2005 highlight.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Sunday Morning Musings ...

Ok, I can't remember the last time I actually stayed home on a Saturday night. I had a very chilled night. First I shaved my hair, which is something I do once every two weeks, but its an amazingly relaxing experience. I am pretty sure I stood by the mirror for over 45 minutes doing just that. Then it was bath time with some candles and Damien Rice playing in the background, pure heaven. The only problem with staying home on a Saturday is the really awful tv that you have to put up with. The only half decent show on was Law and Order : Criminal Intent, which I have caught maybe twice in my life. Wouldn't you know it, one of the two episodes that I've seen was the one being shown on tv last night. That pissed me off. I had to content with '100 Sexiest Moments' on E4, but needless to stay I got so bored out of my mind that I only managed up to moment 60 before turning off the tv and going to bed.

Whats amazing to me is that I didn't miss going out. I actually enjoyed staying home, I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. Of course now I have all this energy and I am going to the Vogue Ball at HorsemeatDisco tonight which should be a lot of fun. I am even going to 'drag' up a bit which should be interesting.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Desperate Housewife

Its been a really busy week after my weekend away, I've had to help look after my neice and nephew over the past few days because their mother is in hospital (she'll be fine), and I've had to catch up on all the work that piled up because I missed two days of work. Hence, little time to write on here, or do anything else for that matter. Not that I mind, I have been doing the cleaning, the cooking, all the wifey stuff my brother wouldn't dare touch.

I actually like to think that I would have made a great repressed 50's housewife, devoting my time to my children and emotionally distant husband, never giving in to my deep burning desires. Years later my journals will be discovered and published, and naturally Julianne Moore will play me in the movie version.